...gonna kick the darkness 'till it bleeds daylight... musings of a hungarian in texas

©2003 by Annamaria Kovacs. All contents of this blog are the property of the author. Use with written permission only.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Ash Wednesday

I am reflecting a lot lately, as my due date nears. And yes, the thoughts occupying me these days are not necessarily rosy-happy-mommy thoughts. Honestly, I don't know if I am a rosy-happy-mommy type--hence me not posting a lot about my pregnancy, for instance.

For this Lent, I will resume the habit I learned from my grandfather, the Calvinist minister--be always aware: “Remember you are dust and into dust you shall return.” Thus, constantly living knowing that if we die tomorrow, was our life for the right purpose or not, and strife for it being FOR something.

I don't want to be special--that went out the door a couple of years ago when I came to terms with the fact that no, those two MAs and a PhD really doesn't count as much as I thought earlier. Humble pie is a wonderful thing to get if you used to be an academic for quite long. :)
What I want is truth, inasmuch as human beings are able to handle it, and to see those around me and dear to my heart to be happy according to what they perceive as their own happiness. As I have a big heart, the list is long... may that I be given enough time to se those smiles blossom.


At 11:25 AM, OpenID mexalapotis said...

I loves you, Anna!

At 11:34 AM, Blogger Annamaria said...

Daww!!! ::hug::

At 11:02 PM, Blogger JimDesu said...

Amen, but don't forget that you're just as morally obligated, as your own caretaker, to seek your own happiness on your own terms, too.



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